Skip to main content

Crazy

From the time I wake there is a conversation going in my head.
I want to cry, but keep telling myself that God says to buckle up and get a grip.

How many years until death...people we know are dying and they aren't all that old. Can I ever stop the treadmill?

Bob's voice is so hyper. We talk, but not really sometimes...
Beth is so beautiful...how to connect.
Grandsons need time.
Dog needs time.
Bob keeps wanting me to do more.
Here I go again...climbing another hill on the roller coaster. I'm exhausted from worry and trying to cover all the bases. Not doing a good job of anything. Don't want to waste time, but I can't say I ever really accomplish much. In a cloud more than ever. Hanging by a thread on the fabric of life. Not happy go lucky...the clown persona is cracking.

Turn off the noise...calm and soothing...I can feel myself moving to do things but there is a numbness to life. I just want to exist, but life keeps getting in the way.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Father's Day 2006

My father Wellesley Alexander was the best father a girl could ever have. He was raised by John and Elizabeth, two parents with stately confidence. John was an artist who started a cemetery monument business with his art ability and Elizabeth did well in the stock market, taking the boys back to their roots in Scotland... trips Dad never forgot. Dad had one brother Ian. I never heard either brother say anything unkind about the other. Dad worked in the family business most of his life. His health declined in his early 70's...heart problems, depression, and many other problems that my mother tried to cope with, using up her health. He spent his last years in three different resthomes. It will always haunt me how sad his last years were on this earth. In his bitterness, he lashed out at my brothers and sister, but never at me...I guess I wasn't there as often, living out of state. He was human and made mistakes. He opened an Edsel dealership which was to be the downfall of his fi...
1 comment
Read more

I'm Back Again...Thanks, Holly

After a year off from this blog, I have decided to come back. Life was slow and I was in a fog since losing sister Martha on my birthday in 2008, but now I am starting to want to live again. Thanks to Holly on Decor 8 for inspiring me tonight to reopen this blog. http://www.decor8blog.com/ She has been a lifesaver to me at times when I felt disconnected from the beauty in this world. Will be posting from time to time again.... Hope you will check back in with me. Love, Marilyn
3 comments
Read more

Too Busy To Blog

"Garden Susie" sits at the end of our drive... We arrived at the cottage June 20th. Will only be here until the end of July :( ---- The phone was not working and a call to the company initiated a service call. Seems they moved the wires underground and had no record of our having had a phone since 2002 so did not give us a line! They will be putting one in and gave us a temp. A week later none of the phones on the point worked, but no reason given as to why. Then the computer didn't work because the local provider had equipment problems. My sister Martha and her daughter Errin came for the weekend and we had a great time. They went to Mackinac Island one day and we hit a casino at night...Errin was a virgin gambler and won over $100...she left happy:). A cap on a tooth came loose from eating an olive burger at one of our favorite local joints, Clyde's, by the Mackinac Bridge. -- Went in to a local dentist and he charged $233.00 upfront to xray the tooth root and glue ...
2 comments
Read more