Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Gently into the Night

We visited my mother who is 86 and living in a care facility in our homestate this last weekend. Took the grandsons up to see her. Most of the time there she didn't seem to know us as she didn't really bond in her usual manner. When I hugged and kissed her good-bye she did not respond as she has before with some comments. It's hard seeing her fading mentally. She looks good physically, eats well and they take good care of her, but I wonder if it is fair to her that she lives that way. Of course, I want her with us as long as we can have her selfishly because I won't want that day to come when we must part. But it's still hard saying goodbye to her mind and the essence of who she was to all of us. I am glad that we've had a chance to show her how much we love her and to understand what aging is like at the end and how much dignity she gives to even that.


Blogger Ali la Loca said...

What a touching post. I only had the chance to know my mom's parents, as my dad's passed before I was born. A few years ago my grandfather passed away unexpectedly after an accident, and my mom always remarked that it a strange way she was glad that he'd gone like that: mind still perfectly in tact, body healthy and active. He didn't have to go through what your mother is experiencing now, and I can only imagine how difficult it must be - both for the person who is aging and for his/her younger family members.

My grandmother's husband (my grandparents were divorced in the 70's and both remarried), on the other hand, passed last year after a long battle with Alzheimer's. It's such a scary thing to witness, all logic and control slipping away from a person who was previously so able...

Even if she doesn't show outward signs, I'm sure your mother knows you are all there and is able to feel the love of her family.

4:12 AM  

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